


Intervention

by Djinn



Category: Batman (Comics), DCU - Comicverse, Wonder Woman (Comics)
Genre: Dialogue-Only, F/M, Rare Pairings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-03
Updated: 2012-09-03
Packaged: 2017-11-13 12:13:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,087
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/503432
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Djinn/pseuds/Djinn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This was a response to a challenge to write a Wonder Woman/Alfred fic. Yep, you read that right. This is dialogue only, so you'll have to use your imagination.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Intervention

Intervention  
by Djinn

 

"Miss, I--why are you sitting here in the dark?"

"I'm sorry, Alfred. I didn't mean to trip you."

"Fortunately for you, I have very good reflexes."

"Yes, you do. Very good."

"I could stand a breather. Do you mind if I sit?"

"Please."

"You do realize that the party is in the other wing."

"I know."

"Just making sure, Miss."

"Diana. My name is Diana. Not Miss Diana. Not 'Princess' said with a bat-snarl. Just Diana."

"What did he do now?"

"What does he always do, Alfred?"

"He pushes you away."

"No flies on you, my friend."

"Horrible saying."

"It is, isn't it? I'm sorry."

"It's all right, my dear."

"You always make things better."

"I'm not sure I can make this better. What I can't understand is why you keep trying?"

"With Bruce? You think I shouldn't?"

"I think we both know that he will never let you in the way you want him to."

"I think you're wrong."

"Very well, Miss."

"No, don't go. And it's Diana. Say it, Alfred."

"Diana. I really must get back to the party."

"To serve drinks?"

"That is one of my duties, yes."

"Stay here. You're always nice to me. Be nice to me now."

"I'll give you a piece of advice because I like you very much. I think you'd be happier if you gave up on my boy."

"Why can't your boy be a little bit more like you?"

"Because I didn't lose my parents in an alley."

"I'm...I'm sorry. You're the closest thing he has to a father. I shouldn't criticize him."

"Criticize him all you like, my dear. Just stop chasing him. It's getting you nowhere. And it's painful to watch."

"What? I'm embarrassing you?"

"That's not precisely what I meant."

"Why won't you look at me? Alfred, what do you mean?"

"You're...you're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen. Inside and out. I'd kill for one--"

"Alfred?"

"I must be going."

"Alfred."

"Unhand me, Miss Diana."

"What did I tell you about the miss?"

"Fine. Diana. How much have you had to drink?"

"I had water. You poured it for me yourself. Quit changing the subject. You'd kill for one what?"

"I was exaggerating, of course."

"For one look?"

"Diana, please back up a little. It's quite close in here. Don't you think it's close in here?"

"One...kiss?"

"..."

"There. One kiss. Or was it something else?"

"No. No, that was it, my dear."

"Would you do it? Kiss _me_ this time? Make it mutual? I'm tired of chasing."

"My dearest girl. You can't be serious. I'm so much older."

"Actually, you're not. I'm quite a bit older."

"Oh. I hadn't considered it that way."

"You have the kindest smile I've ever seen."

"I'm not sure kind is where I was heading."

"Kiss me?"

"Oh, very well."

"..."

"Alfred, is your room in this wing?"

"Yes, but I'm quite sure you'd kill me if we were to take this any further."

"I'll be careful. I know you'd be careful, too. You could show me...what it's like, to be with a man. Couldn't you?"

"Right now I feel as if I could show all the Rockettes, as well."

"Can we keep them out of this? I'm not the sharing type."

"I think I quite like that, Diana."

"So, you will?"

"Diana. I'm not the right man."

"You are. I think you are."

"I--"

"..."

"Please?"

"If you insist? You are insisting?"

"I am. Let's go find your room."

"Just up these stairs and to the left."

"You did not just do that!"

"Oh, but you have such an astonishingly good bum, Diana. It just begs for a pat."

"That was more than a pat."

"I was afraid a pat might be lost on a meta."

"Uh huh. This door?"

"Yes, my dear. Not too late to turn around and go back to the party."

"No. For either of us. You do have a choice. Just because I'm lonely doesn't mean--"

"..."

"That's enough foolish talk about me doing this because you're lonely. Come right in."

"Does the door lock?"

"It does. There, safe as houses."

"This isn't the easiest uniform to get out of..."

"Let me. You're shaking, my dear."

"Your hands are cold."

"No, they aren't. See."

"Ohhhhhhhh."

"It's quite easy to get off, Diana. Just a pull and then..."

"Oh, goddesssssssssss."

"Would you like to lie down?"

"Yes, please."

"I suggest you not try to think too hard."

"Think? No thinking. Oh, do that again. Mmmmmmmmm."

"..."

"I didn't know you smoked, Alfred."

"I don't. As a rule. But then I don't generally make love to goddesses, either."

"You flatter me."

"Someone should."

"Can I try a cigarette?"

"Absolutely not. I've corrupted you enough for one night."

"You haven't corrupted me. I've done this before. On the island."

"With the other girls?"

"Nothing else there."

"Oh, my dearest. You have no idea what that conjures up."

"Oh, I think I have...an...idea."

"..."

"Alfred, are you in there?"

"Yes, Master Bruce. I'm afraid I'm indisposed."

"Do you need me? Can I get you anything?"

"Oh, no, my boy. I've got everything I need right here."

"Okay...Alfred?"

"Yes?"

"Have you seen Diana?"

"She was upset."

"I know. I...I wasn't very nice to her. She must have gone home."

"She normally does when you upset her."

"I know. It's just. She just..."

"Alfred. It's mean, he doesn't know I'm here."

"Shhh, my dear. Just wait for what he says. Master Bruce, you could go get her."

"No. It's better this way."

"Is it? Is it better to turn away love?"

"You know what happens to people I love. This is not open for debate. Good night, Alfred. I'll check on you in the morning."

"Yes, my boy. Enjoy your party. There, you see, my dear. He loves you."

"But he'll never let me in, will he?"

"I don't think so."

"Can I stay with you tonight?"

"You can stay with me any night you like. But especially tonight."

"Thank you."

"And Miss Diana."

"Diana."

"Miss Diana is better for what I have to say. When I'm around you, I'll act as if this never happened. And you are free to consider it as never having happened if later you feel uncomfortable."

"What if I don't feel uncomfortable? What if I feel nostalgic?"

"Then it can never happen...again."

"You're a wonderful man, Alfred. Bruce is lucky to have you. We both are."

"No, my dear. I'm the lucky one."

 

FIN


End file.
